The Gilded Cage
We've all known someone who seems to have it all but are somehow never happy. Someone who grows up in the cage of a family that never allows them their freedom, to societies standard expectations of education, marriage or starting a family. Who self medicate with codependent relationships, addictions or bury themselves in safe belief structures. The ones who never ask themselves what they truly desire and instead go from cage to cage never allowing themselves the freedom to choose which, if any, of these things they actually want. A cage is an automatic decision that is not weighed by the needs of an individual's heart longing.
"Wherever their lives wanted to burst forth, someone was there to salt the ground so nothing could grow. They felt tortured by all the proscriptions against their natural desires. If they were nature children, they were kept under roofs. If they were scientists, they were told to be mothers. If they wanted to be mothers they were told they'd better fit the mold entirely. If they wanted to invent something they were told to be practical. If they wanted to create they were told a women's work was never done. "Sometimes they tried to be good according to whichever standards where popular, and didn't realize till later what they really wanted, how they needed to live. Then, in order to have a life, they experienced the painful amputations of leaving their families, the marriages they had promised under oath would be til death, the jobs that were to be the springboards to something more stultifying but better paying. They left dreams scattered all over the road."
-Clarissa Pinkola Estes "Women who run with the wolves"